Friday, April 6, 2012

Poor Little Ego

So I did it again, tried to take the higher ground and talk to "he who shall not be named" and had every intention of being civil and grown up. Why do we allow some people to pull us in and trap us with accusations and insults?  Why do we end up dignifying lies and mean words with a response?

I beat myself up all day yesterday for falling for the same old tricks, but today I am letting it go, and forgiving myself for having an ego and for being human.Today I will shop for wedding shoes with my daughters. Today I will share a mango gelati in their sparkling company. I will thank God for the birds who can't contain their joy, for the petals raining down from blossom- heavy branches, I will toast the gift of another April, fresh and new. And I will make time for a long overdue visit with someone who embraced the wonder and the chaos with words like these:

i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes
(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth
day of life and love and wings:and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)
how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any-lifted from the no
of all nothing-human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?
(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)
                                          e.e. cummings


  1. I have a "he who can not be named" in my life and he made me so mad yesterday. He (being my children's father) called and said he could not pick them up because he needed air in his tire. He also said he could not use his wife's car because he could not afford gas. So I, trying to do the right thing drove my kids to their dad's house. And what was sitting in their driveway? A NEW CAR!!! I drove up and didn't recognize the car and my kids told me they just bought it and it is $300.00 a month for the next 5 years! To add to the insult my ex is behind in child support. Now if I was a grown-up I would have said nothing but I had a low-grade freak out in front of my teenage kids. ARGH!!!!!!

  2. Thanks Birdie, I can certainly relate. And you made me feel better about having a normal reaction. Sorry about the what you had to deal with though.

  3. ah sorry you had to deal with the little man
    don't give him another thought....and get the prettiest shoes you can
    and strut girl strut...
    and being civil says alot about you...and that he is indeed a creatin
    and not worthy of you.....onward woman

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    1. What I tried to say the first time, but did not come out in English or any language known to man, was that, I can always count on you, Suz, to make me laugh. I think it is time Iwent to bed, bc these keys just won't cooperate.